INTO DEEPER WATERS

Sitting on the shores of the Pacific Ocean it took me a moment to wrapped my head around how Christ had transformed me, since surrendering to his will, it was a bit overwhelming . The boat in the picture has constantly been in my mind since the day I took the picture during one of my  personal  prayer times while on a retreat in Los Organos Peru last year. 

 As I thanked God for making me whole again and for giving such an amazing opportunity for my children and I to become saints. I sat for several moments on the shore reflecting on how far WE had come and what all WE had accomplished. I mean after all we sold what little we had in the United States, Left family, friends, secure careers and schools behind.  We had moved thousands of miles away to live in a small pueblo in the middle of the Jungle to serve his people.  What more could he want. We gave him everything, we were doing all he asked us to do. We had settled and adapted to living in a 3^rd world country. We were making friends, our ministries were taking off. WE were doing the impossible!!!! I boldly thought to myself, God must be pleased with us.

But then, I was struck with words that pierced my heart;

Youth Retreat- Gabriel making friends

“ I want more. Don’t get to comfortable where I have sent you. You still need to follow me. You must have courage.”

 Proverbs 3:5 -7 came to me, I thought to myself; had I forgotten to trust in the Lord with all my heart? Had I become too comfortable returning to my old self ; relying on my own strength and not allowing Jesus to guide me?  As I reflected on my thoughts and my feelings, I looked up and saw this fishing boat approaching the shore; The boat reminded me of the disciples being tossed around by the waves found in the Book of Matthew chapter 14.

 Was I going to be like the 11 disciples who remained in the tiny boat, scared and untrusting? Was I wanting to only remain in the boat because I sought safety for my children and myself. Or was I going to be like Peter and step out of the boat and trust Jesus.

I recognized what it was that God was laying on my heart,  I immediately knew Jesus was calling me to get out of the boat and into the depths of the water. But haven’t my children and I already stepped out of that boat?

For some time prior,  Jesus had been calling us out of that boat. He had been whispering to my children and I to move. But this time he laid on my heart that it  was time to seriously pray and surrender to Gods will. Not to the will of our own desires.

  

He is calling us deeper.

“Courage ! He said, It is I,  Do not be afraid”

My children and I struggled with this request. We were just now getting use to a new normal. We thought about our ministries we had started, the people we had come to serve and love. What about them?  Who would love them like we did if we moved?

 I cannot lie, My family and I were afraid.  Just as Peter and the other 11 disciples were. We wanted to be obedient . We wanted to have courage and not be afraid, we wanted to step out of that boat.  But all we knew was a name of a Diocese 8 hours from any other FMC missionary which was in the northern part of Peru. Not to mention we did not know exactly which pueblo He wanted us to move to. We would be ALONE, in the jungle. We would no longer be within the safety of our current mission post. After all,  in our current mission post,  FMC missionaries have lived here in strong numbers since 2015. The locals know why we are here. They have always been respectful and understanding that we were here to serve the poor. I would say our current mission post is safe from most dangers.

The wonderful Youth Group walking with us to a nearby pueblo for Mass

He give us courage.

 He is calling us deeper

“Lord if it is really you, order me to come out on the water with you.”

Jesus was calling us out of that old fishing boat to trust in his plan,  just as he called Peter. After speaking with Sarah Granger one of the directors of FMC about this call, we were encouraged to pray about it and to go and investigate the area. To seek truly if it was God’s will for us to open up a new mission post in the northern part of Peru.  To seek the Holy Spirit and visit.  We had to remain faithful to his will. We had to remain patient and allow Jesus to show us the right time to visit the Bishop of Chachapoyas.

When the time was right we embarked on a trip to see if we could make contact with the Bishop of Chachapoyas.  I told my daughter that I cannot believe we are doing this, we don’t even have an appointment (which if we could get would be only half of the mission).  I  was worried if our written request was going to please the Bishop, I was super nervous about my spanish skills, because obviously once in front of the bishop I would need to articulate the desire to serve in his diocese. Not to mention from a very old wound that the devil likes to throw in my face,  I was nervous that the bishop would see my family as nothing more than a broken family.  But all I knew is we didn’t want to remain in the boat, we wanted to trust Jesus and step out once again and go into even deeper waters.  So we said “Lord if it’s really you than order us again to come out of the boat and take control of all our worries, by sending The Holy Spirit to go before us.”

 On our 1^st day in the Diocese of Chachapoyas we set off to find the Bishop,  to request an appointment. Little did I know that he was available to see us right then. No time to worry about what I was going to say or practice my Spanish beforehand,  because before we knew it we were sitting right in front of Bishop Emiliano. It was like he was waiting for us.

The Bishop was a bit confused why we wanted to serve in his Diocese. All I could say is because Jesus has led us here; he has placed your diocese on our hearts and we want to be faithful to Christ and serve the poor as a family of Catholic Lay missionaries. He stated three or four times to us with a confused look “ We do not have any other Catholic Lay missionaries serving here. I boldly said, “ that must be the reason God has sent us to you. To live among your people as an example of a devoted family”. He just nodded his head and said that if there was a priest in his diocese who was interested than he would give us permission to serve in his diocese.

                             It truly was the Lord calling us.

He is calling us deeper

Jesus said “Come”

Jesus said to “come” But we felt as the Disciples did when Jesus told them to get into the boat. We were far out into the sea as they were and being tossed around by the waves during the middle of a storm. But unlike the disciples our waves were not of water. We were being tossed around by the laws of Peru. We experience what could be summed up in one word as Horror.  I was refused permission to travel outside of Peru  with my children. We were in deep, In uncharted waters. After 9 months of serving in Peru we were traveling back to the US for a retreat and to visit family back in the United States. But we were not going anywhere. We were stuck in the middle of a 3^rd world’s politics and broken crazy laws. The authorities were not  budging. We were frightened and in disbelief what was happening. All of us were United States Citizens and stuck in Peru. After a week of pleading with lawyers , migrations and the US embassy we were not any closer of returning back to the states. All we as a family could do was submit to Gods will. In our little Airbnb apartment in Lima , where we were staying, we fell on our knees and we just laid it all in God’s hands. We let everything come out, surrendering all and said to Him “ You sent us to Peru to serve your people. If you do not wish us to leave so be it. If you desire us to stay and serve your people than may your will be done.  If you want us to serve in another diocese we will go, Do with us what you may.”  God knew my heart was breaking. He knew we were scared but he saw our immense faith in Him. Perhaps that was all he needed. Because after that prayer He showed us the path how to return back to the states. He placed loving and caring lawyers, friends, and notaries in our path who worked hard to obtain the proper documentation that the Peruvian Government wanted, giving me permission to leave the country with my children.  Three weeks after being held up in Lima Peru we were able to leave the country  for the 1^st time in 10 months.

Christmas 2018 : Blessed to spend it with my two oldest sons before their shifts at the fire station.

Left to right; My son Maccray, Daughter Julianna,

Son Gabriel, Daughter in Law Maddie, Oldest Son Mason

Once upon arriving in the states Jesus confirmed again that he wanted us to serve his people in a different diocese of Peru by sending a long awaited email from a priest who was wanting to talk to us about serving with him.

 It was Jesus saying “COME”

He is calling us deeper

“Save me Lord’ He Cried

Just as Peter wanted to be faithful and wanted to show Jesus he had courage, trust and faith. My family wanted to do the same.  But just as Peter found out once upon the water, it was not easy to keep his eyes on Jesus. We needed Jesus to save us. Just as Peter had cried out to the Lord “ Save Me”  We too had to make the same cry to our Lord. Because thoughts came to mind about not returning to Peru. What if the next time we wanted to return to the States the Peruvian government again refused us the right to leave the country. What if Peru would never allow me to leave the country with my children? Would we be stuck in Peru?  Many of our friends and family looked upon us with disbelief when we said we were going back.  But we knew we had to trust in Jesus. We knew that we had to keep our eyes fixed on him and only him. Not on what the world thought. We needed the Lord to “Save us”

 We asked God, If it’s your will for us to go to serve in the new diocese of Chachapoyas than please make it clear to us.  Prepare a way for us Lord.  Allow us to serve with a loving Priest just as we do in our current mission post, Show us the Pueblo you have prepared for us. Prepare a home for us.

Sister Maria- Julianna & Gabriel

Upon our return to Peru we took a trip to meet Father Robert Lopez,  the priest requesting to meet us, in the Parish of Apostle Santiago located in Bagua Grande within  the Diocese of Chachapoyas. He is one of two Priest serving over 200 pueblos  located in the region of the Amazonas . We were greeted with such love and compassion. They both had said they were praying for missionaries and when they heard the Bishop talk about us during a monthly meeting among all the Diocese of Chachapoyas Priest, they prayed that no other Priest would take interest. Throughout the meeting they both said they could not wait until the meeting was over to approach the bishop about meeting us. They knew nothing about us. All they knew was we were missionaries,  seeking to find the place the Lord had prepared for us. They looked upon my children and I as normal and very much what they were asking for. A family that could live among and  connect with their people.  Not a Priest, not a religious sister, but just a normal family, once broken, but made new again by the graces of God.

When we arrived it was certain that the Holy Spirit was present and working opening the hearts to the people. They showed us homes and two different towns that they were really needing help in.  They said whichever one felt right. They asked us to pray about the two towns and seek Gods will for us.

Exploring the surrounding area of Bagua Grande with Father Robert

We cried out “Lord Save Us” and he did just that.

He is calling us deeper

At once Jesus reached out and grabbed hold of Him and said “ What little faith you have, Why did you doubt.”

Jesus knowns we need to fix our eyes on Him, but that at times we will lose focus as Peter did. It’s important to know that Jesus will also be there for us. He will always reach out and grab hold of us to pull us up.

It is this kind of trust that my family must have.  We are being sent to a new mission post. A call from our Lord not to take lightly. Father Robert is extremely worried about our safety living in the area. He told us that to serve in the area it would be unsafe if we planned on walking everywhere like we currently do. He was especially concerned because his vision for my family is to help reach the more remote area surrounding the town in which we will live.  To go off the beaten path to work with the impoverish  Indian communities. And with the limited public transportation and the past history of the area he recommended we purchase a vehicle. My pride got the better of me ,  I was a bit offended at first, thinking that maybe he and Father Cristóbal saw my family as weak. Afterall  we managed just fine at our current post without a vehicle. So far we have not had any dangerous encounters.  But after watching the two of them heed their own warnings  for the week we spent with them,  it made me a bit concerned which was Good.

It made me realize that this new mission post is going to be nothing like the safety of our current mission post. The locals will not recognize us as the missionaries. They will recognize us as the “Gringos”. The area is not very known for tourism and laid back culture. Instead it’s known for its unrest and it’s lack of infrastructure despite its population which is exploding with  a large number of  Venezuelans fleeing from their own countries corruption.  We will live right in the middle of the civil unrest.  Where just 10 years ago in 2009 the jungle massacre occurred between the Peruvian government and the Indigent tribes of the Awajun and Wambis Indians who protested and fought over oil and logging rights. A conflict that has left hundreds dead both police and indigenous people .  Where during the massacre hundreds sought refuge in the Catholic Church.

Photo courtesy of John Gibler, writer for Huffpost

The same place we are being called to serve was only 2 1/2 hours away from where last August, a Jesuit Priest,  Carlos Riudavets Montes was found  stabbed to death in the boarding school where he served. He was 73 years old.

 Jesuit Priest Killed last year ; Photo courtesy of The Vatican News

As Jesus grabs our hands and pulls us out of the water and back into the boat with him, we cannot continue to doubt Him. It will be more than fatal for us to do so.  We must not be of little faith.  Because He is calling us deeper. He is calling us to serve within the parish of Apostle Santiago, within the Dioceses of Chachapoyas located in the region of the amazons in a little pueblo called Cajaruro. Under the leadership of  Bishop Emiliano and Father Robert Lopez. Just 141 miles from Ecuador’s border.

We must not doubt the will of the Lord. We must be faithful that our call comes from Him and Him alone. That we go with only the desire to serve Him. We must be obedient enough when we arrive at our new post in September that those we serve will only be greeted by Christ Himself. We must remain locked on the eyes of Christ to complete his mission in to the deeper waters.

As my children and I in 4 short months complete our 2 year commitment as foreign missionaries we have learned so much. We have allowed our rough edges to be sanded down. We had to get over pride. We had to get out of the boat not once not twice but many times. Jesus is continuously calling us into deeper waters.

With that said, you probably wonder why I am telling you all this. It would be much easier for me just to say in less words. That this September we are moving to a new mission post after our two year commitment ends,  that we have been called to serve Christ as foreign missionaries for an indefinite amount of time. But that would not be much of a testimony to the trust we have in our Lord.

 One thing we have learned in are almost two years of missions it takes three persons to complete the work. It takes us whom have been called by Christ to go to the ends of the earth to preach the gospel . It takes you the faithful whom trust in God’s plans and that enjoys being a part of bringing souls to Christ, and it takes Christ himself.   We have also learned the very hard way that a starving mission is not a thriving mission. Christ wants us to have a thriving mission and a healthy safe family. Our pride cannot get in the way of Gods ASK!  He asked us to step out of the boat to journey deeper with Him, so He can reach the ones whom have yet heard. We have said Yes. But God is calling us all deeper. He is calling my children to trust in him in a more radical way.  He is calling us to trust that he will provide and that he will keep us safe from harm’s way. 

We have stepped out of the boat and in four short months we will be in the deepest waters we have ever experienced. 

We need your help!   

We are asking you today if you would pray in a fervent way and ask Christ how you could help. I know what you are thinking.  You have already help so much. AND YOU HAVE!   The Lord has shown to us that he is fully capable of making the impossible, possible.  

Ways you can you Help!

To be able to serve in a thriving and safe way at our new mission post we are needing to purchase a truck.

We our asking you for your help. We are inviting you to be a part of bringing  Souls to Christ. To invest Gods resources he has provided you, in a heavenly investment.

Brothers and sisters you must know, we do not come to you before we have 1^st went to our Lord in prayer.

Please prayerfully consider

1.       If God would like you to respond to this need by making a special donation of $10,000.00, so we can purchase a truck.

2.       Consider increasing your monthly support to help us maintain a vehicle (Gas, repairs etc.)  Our current $700.00 budget cannot handle maintaining a vehicle. We need to increase our budget $300.00 per month. To include the new expenses of having a mission vehicle and to accomplish the vision for our new mission post.

3.       Or better yet maybe Christ is asking you to respond to this letter in a more extreme way,  perhaps he is asking you to be our VOICE asking and pleading with your social groups and home parishes and diocese promoting and campaigning for the poor here in Peru by asking for a special collection in your parish or group to be collected for the mission God has sent us on.

4.       It could be as easy as starting a Go Fund Me account or perhaps you could make a list of people in your family or your friends that would like to see a Good return on their investment. There is no better Rate of return than to invest in God’s work. 

To become a monthly mission partner and or make a special donation please following the link:

delcastillo.familymissionscompany.com

*****We have investigated the cost of used trucks. Which are cheaper out of Lima. Here are a few screen shots of trucks we found on Line. We are trying to find a truck in the $8,000.00 price range the extra $2,000.00 would cover our expenses of our travel to lima and driving the truck the 30 plus hour trip back to our mission post. The reminder if there is,  would go to major tune up and maintenance needed to make the truck reliable and roadworthy to serve as a mission vehicle.

We love you all , and thank God for your partnership each and every day. 

The Del Castillo’s

Karen. Julianna, Gabriel