INTO DEEPER WATERS
As I thanked God for making
me whole again and for giving such an amazing opportunity for my children and I
to become saints. I sat for several moments on the shore reflecting on how far WE
had come and what all WE had accomplished. I mean after all we sold what little
we had in the United States, Left family, friends, secure careers and schools
behind. We had moved thousands of miles
away to live in a small pueblo in the middle of the Jungle to serve his people.
What more could he want. We gave him
everything, we were doing all he asked us to do. We had settled and adapted to
living in a 3rd world country. We were making friends, our
ministries were taking off. WE were doing the impossible!!!! I boldly thought
to myself, God must be pleased with us.
But then, I was struck with words that
pierced my heart;
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Youth Retreat- Gabriel making friends
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“ I want more. Don’t get to comfortable where I have sent
you. You still need to follow me. You must have courage.”
Proverbs 3:5 -7 came to me, I thought to myself;
had I forgotten to trust in the Lord with all my heart? Had I become too
comfortable returning to my old self ; relying on my own strength and not
allowing Jesus to guide me? As I
reflected on my thoughts and my feelings, I looked up and saw this fishing boat
approaching the shore; The boat reminded me of the disciples being tossed
around by the waves found in the Book of Matthew chapter 14.
Was I going to be
like the 11 disciples who remained in the tiny boat, scared and untrusting? Was
I wanting to only remain in the boat because I sought safety for my children
and myself. Or was I going to be like Peter and step out of the boat and trust
Jesus.
I recognized what it was that God was laying on my heart, I immediately knew Jesus was calling me to get
out of the boat and into the depths of the water. But haven’t my children and I
already stepped out of that boat?
For some time prior, Jesus had been calling us out of that boat. He
had been whispering to my children and I to move. But this time he laid on my
heart that it was time to seriously pray
and surrender to Gods will. Not to the will of our own desires.
He is calling us deeper.
“Courage ! He said,
It is I, Do not be afraid”
My children and I struggled with this
request. We were just now getting use to a new normal. We thought about our
ministries we had started, the people we had come to serve and love. What about
them? Who would love them like we did if
we moved?
I cannot lie, My
family and I were afraid. Just as Peter
and the other 11 disciples were. We wanted to be obedient . We wanted to have
courage and not be afraid, we wanted to step out of that boat. But all we knew was a name of a Diocese 8
hours from any other FMC missionary which was in the northern part of Peru. Not
to mention we did not know exactly which pueblo He wanted us to move to. We
would be ALONE, in the jungle. We would no longer be within the safety of our
current mission post. After all, in our
current mission post, FMC missionaries
have lived here in strong numbers since 2015. The locals know why we are here.
They have always been respectful and understanding that we were here to serve
the poor. I would say our current mission post is safe from most dangers.
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The wonderful Youth Group walking with us to a nearby
pueblo for Mass
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He give us courage.
He is calling us deeper
“Lord
if it is really you, order me to come out on the water with you.”
Jesus was calling us out of that old fishing boat to trust
in his plan, just as he called Peter. After
speaking with Sarah Granger one of the directors of FMC about this call, we
were encouraged to pray about it and to go and investigate the area. To seek
truly if it was God’s will for us to open up a new mission post in the northern
part of Peru. To seek the Holy Spirit and
visit. We had to remain faithful to his
will. We had to remain patient and allow Jesus to show us the right time to
visit the Bishop of Chachapoyas.
When the time was right we embarked on a
trip to see if we could make contact with the Bishop of Chachapoyas. I told my daughter that I cannot believe we
are doing this, we don’t even have an appointment (which if we could get would
be only half of the mission). I was worried if our written request was going
to please the Bishop, I was super nervous about my spanish skills, because obviously
once in front of the bishop I would need to articulate the desire to serve in
his diocese. Not to mention from a very old wound that the devil likes to throw
in my face, I was nervous that the
bishop would see my family as nothing more than a broken family. But all I knew is we didn’t want to remain in
the boat, we wanted to trust Jesus and step out once again and go into even
deeper waters. So we said “Lord if it’s
really you than order us again to come out of the boat and take control of all
our worries, by sending The Holy Spirit to go before us.”
On our 1st
day in the Diocese of Chachapoyas we set off to find the Bishop, to request an appointment. Little did I know
that he was available to see us right then. No time to worry about what I was
going to say or practice my Spanish beforehand, because before we knew it we were sitting
right in front of Bishop Emiliano. It was like he was waiting for us.
The Bishop was a bit confused why we wanted to serve in his
Diocese. All I could say is because Jesus has led us here; he has placed your
diocese on our hearts and we want to be faithful to Christ and serve the poor
as a family of Catholic Lay missionaries. He stated three or four times to us
with a confused look “ We do not have any other Catholic Lay missionaries
serving here. I boldly said, “ that must be the reason God has sent us to you. To
live among your people as an example of a devoted family”. He just nodded his
head and said that if there was a priest in his diocese who was interested than
he would give us permission to serve in his diocese.
It truly was the Lord calling us.
He is calling us deeper
Jesus
said “Come”
Jesus said to “come” But we felt as the Disciples
did when Jesus told them to get into the boat. We were far out into the sea as
they were and being tossed around by the waves during the middle of a storm. But
unlike the disciples our waves were not of water. We were being tossed around
by the laws of Peru. We experience what could be summed up in one word as
Horror. I was refused permission to
travel outside of Peru with my children.
We were in deep, In uncharted waters. After 9 months of serving in Peru we were
traveling back to the US for a retreat and to visit family back in the United
States. But we were not going anywhere. We were stuck in the middle of a 3rd
world’s politics and broken crazy laws. The authorities were not budging. We were frightened and in disbelief
what was happening. All of us were United States Citizens and stuck in Peru. After
a week of pleading with lawyers , migrations and the US embassy we were not any
closer of returning back to the states. All we as a family could do was submit
to Gods will. In our little Airbnb apartment in Lima , where we were staying, we
fell on our knees and we just laid it all in God’s hands. We let everything
come out, surrendering all and said to Him “ You sent us to Peru to serve your
people. If you do not wish us to leave so be it. If you desire us to stay and
serve your people than may your will be done. If you want us to serve in another diocese we
will go, Do with us what you may.” God
knew my heart was breaking. He knew we were scared but he saw our immense faith
in Him. Perhaps that was all he needed. Because after that prayer He showed us
the path how to return back to the states. He placed loving and caring lawyers,
friends, and notaries in our path who worked hard to obtain the proper
documentation that the Peruvian Government wanted, giving me permission to
leave the country with my children. Three weeks after being held up in Lima Peru
we were able to leave the country for
the 1st time in 10 months.
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Christmas 2018 :
Blessed to spend it with my two oldest sons before their shifts at the fire
station.
Left to right; My
son Maccray, Daughter Julianna,
Son Gabriel,
Daughter in Law Maddie, Oldest Son Mason
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Once upon arriving in the states Jesus confirmed again that
he wanted us to serve his people in a different diocese of Peru by sending a
long awaited email from a priest who was wanting to talk to us about serving
with him.
It was Jesus saying
“COME”
He is calling us deeper
“Save me Lord’ He
Cried
Just as Peter wanted to be faithful and
wanted to show Jesus he had courage, trust and faith. My family wanted to do
the same. But just as Peter found out
once upon the water, it was not easy to keep his eyes on Jesus. We needed Jesus
to save us. Just as Peter had cried out to the Lord “ Save Me” We too had to make the same cry to our Lord.
Because thoughts came to mind about not returning to Peru. What if the next
time we wanted to return to the States the Peruvian government again refused us
the right to leave the country. What if Peru would never allow me to leave the
country with my children? Would we be stuck in Peru? Many of our friends and family looked upon us with
disbelief when we said we were going back.
But we knew we had to trust in Jesus. We knew that we had to keep our
eyes fixed on him and only him. Not on what the world thought. We needed the
Lord to “Save us”
We asked God, If it’s
your will for us to go to serve in the new diocese of Chachapoyas than please
make it clear to us. Prepare a way for
us Lord. Allow us to serve with a loving
Priest just as we do in our current mission post, Show us the Pueblo you have
prepared for us. Prepare a home for us.
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Sister Maria- Julianna & Gabriel
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Upon our return to Peru we took a trip to
meet Father Robert Lopez, the priest
requesting to meet us, in the Parish of Apostle Santiago located in Bagua
Grande within the Diocese of Chachapoyas.
He is one of two Priest serving over 200 pueblos located in the region of the Amazonas . We
were greeted with such love and compassion. They both had said they were
praying for missionaries and when they heard the Bishop talk about us during a monthly
meeting among all the Diocese of Chachapoyas Priest, they prayed that no other
Priest would take interest. Throughout the meeting they both said they could
not wait until the meeting was over to approach the bishop about meeting us.
They knew nothing about us. All they knew was we were missionaries, seeking to find the place the Lord had
prepared for us. They looked upon my children and I as normal and very much
what they were asking for. A family that could live among and connect with their people. Not a Priest, not a religious sister, but just
a normal family, once broken, but made new again by the graces of God.
When we arrived it was certain that
the Holy Spirit was present and working opening the hearts to the people. They
showed us homes and two different towns that they were really needing help
in. They said whichever one felt right.
They asked us to pray about the two towns and seek Gods will for us.
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Exploring the surrounding area of Bagua Grande with Father
Robert
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We cried out “Lord Save Us” and he did just that.
He is calling us deeper
At once Jesus reached
out and grabbed hold of Him and said “ What little faith you have, Why did you
doubt.”
Jesus knowns we need to fix our eyes on Him,
but that at times we will lose focus as Peter did. It’s important to know that
Jesus will also be there for us. He will always reach out and grab hold of us
to pull us up.
It is this kind of trust that my family must have. We are being sent to a new mission post. A
call from our Lord not to take lightly. Father Robert is extremely worried
about our safety living in the area. He told us that to serve in the area it would
be unsafe if we planned on walking everywhere like we currently do. He was especially
concerned because his vision for my family is to help reach the more remote
area surrounding the town in which we will live. To go off the beaten path to work with the
impoverish Indian communities. And with
the limited public transportation and the past history of the area he
recommended we purchase a vehicle. My pride got the better of me , I was a bit offended at first, thinking that
maybe he and Father Cristóbal saw my family as weak. Afterall we managed just fine at our current post
without a vehicle. So far we have not had any dangerous encounters. But after watching the two of them heed their
own warnings for the week we spent with
them, it made me a bit concerned which
was Good.
It made me realize that this new mission
post is going to be nothing like the safety of our current mission post. The
locals will not recognize us as the missionaries. They will recognize us as the
“Gringos”. The area is not very known for tourism and laid back culture. Instead
it’s known for its unrest and it’s lack of infrastructure despite its
population which is exploding with a
large number of Venezuelans fleeing from
their own countries corruption. We will
live right in the middle of the civil unrest. Where just 10 years ago in 2009 the jungle
massacre occurred between the Peruvian government and the Indigent tribes of
the Awajun and Wambis Indians who protested and fought over oil and logging
rights. A conflict that has left hundreds dead both police and indigenous
people . Where during the massacre
hundreds sought refuge in the Catholic Church.
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Photo courtesy of John Gibler, writer for Huffpost
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The
same place we are being called to serve was only 2 1/2 hours away from where
last August, a Jesuit Priest, Carlos
Riudavets Montes was found stabbed to
death in the boarding school where he served. He was 73 years old.
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Jesuit Priest Killed
last year ; Photo courtesy of The Vatican News
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As Jesus grabs our hands and pulls us out of the water and
back into the boat with him, we cannot continue to doubt Him. It will be more
than fatal for us to do so. We must not
be of little faith. Because He is
calling us deeper. He is calling us to serve within the parish
of Apostle Santiago, within the Dioceses of Chachapoyas located in the region
of the amazons in a little pueblo called Cajaruro. Under the leadership of Bishop Emiliano and Father Robert Lopez. Just
141 miles from Ecuador’s border.
We must not doubt the will of the Lord. We must be faithful
that our call comes from Him and Him alone. That we go with only the desire to
serve Him. We must be obedient enough when we arrive at our new post in
September that those we serve will only be greeted by Christ Himself. We must
remain locked on the eyes of Christ to complete his mission in to the deeper
waters.
As my children and I in 4 short months complete our 2 year
commitment as foreign missionaries we have learned so much. We have allowed our
rough edges to be sanded down. We had to get over pride. We had to get out of
the boat not once not twice but many times. Jesus is continuously calling us
into deeper waters.
With that said, you probably wonder why I am telling you all
this. It would be much easier for me just to say in less words. That this
September we are moving to a new mission post after our two year commitment ends,
that we have been called to serve Christ
as foreign missionaries for an indefinite amount of time. But that would not be
much of a testimony to the trust we have in our Lord.
One thing we have learned in are almost two
years of missions it takes three persons to complete the work. It takes us whom
have been called by Christ to go to the ends of the earth to preach the gospel
. It takes you the faithful whom trust in God’s plans and that enjoys being a
part of bringing souls to Christ, and it takes Christ himself. We have also learned the very hard way that
a starving mission is not a thriving mission. Christ wants us to have a
thriving mission and a healthy safe family. Our pride cannot get in the way of
Gods ASK! He asked us to step out of the
boat to journey deeper with Him, so He can reach the ones whom have yet heard.
We have said Yes. But God is calling us all deeper. He is calling my children
to trust in him in a more radical way.
He is calling us to trust that he will provide and that he will keep us
safe from harm’s way.
We have stepped out of the boat and in four short months
we will be in the deepest waters we have ever experienced.
We need your help!
We are asking you today if you would pray in a fervent way
and ask Christ how you could help. I know what you are thinking. You have already help so much. AND YOU HAVE! The Lord has shown to us that he is fully
capable of making the impossible, possible.
Ways you can you Help!
To be able to serve in a thriving and safe way at our new
mission post we are needing to purchase a truck.
We our asking you for your help. We are inviting you to be a
part of bringing Souls to Christ. To
invest Gods resources he has provided you, in a heavenly investment.
Brothers and sisters you must know, we do not come to you
before we have 1st went to our Lord in prayer.
Please
prayerfully consider
1.
If God would like you to respond to this
need by making a special donation of $10,000.00, so we can purchase a truck.
2.
Consider increasing your monthly support
to help us maintain a vehicle (Gas, repairs etc.) Our current $700.00 budget cannot handle
maintaining a vehicle. We need to increase our budget $300.00 per month. To
include the new expenses of having a mission vehicle and to accomplish the
vision for our new mission post.
3.
Or better yet maybe Christ is asking you
to respond to this letter in a more extreme way, perhaps he is asking you to be our VOICE
asking and pleading with your social groups and home parishes and diocese
promoting and campaigning for the poor here in Peru by asking for a special
collection in your parish or group to be collected for the mission God has sent
us on.
4.
It could be as easy as starting a Go Fund
Me account or perhaps you could make a list of people in your family or your
friends that would like to see a Good return on their investment. There is no
better Rate of return than to invest in God’s work.
To become a monthly mission partner and or make a special donation please
following the link:
*****We have investigated the cost of used trucks. Which are
cheaper out of Lima. Here are a few screen shots of trucks we found on Line. We
are trying to find a truck in the $8,000.00 price range the extra $2,000.00
would cover our expenses of our travel to lima and driving the truck the 30
plus hour trip back to our mission post. The reminder if there is, would go to major tune up and maintenance
needed to make the truck reliable and roadworthy to serve as a mission
vehicle.
We love you all , and thank God for your partnership each
and every day.
The Del Castillo’s
Karen.
Julianna, Gabriel
