Someone recently messaged me to tell me how great I was for being a missionary. And how they thought so highly of me. I quickly thought to myself who does this person think I am? And after the week I had of ministries, I wonder if “I” am even making a difference at all here or even worthy of being called a missionary. So of course, under my breath, I mumbled the words “They obviously have mistaken me for someone else.”
I thought if they knew who I was, a sinner, a person who struggles daily to serve Jesus and those that the Holy Spirit puts in my path they would not have sent me such a message. There are so many needs here, from visiting the sick, and fighting for the women who have been abused, thrown away, and forgotten, to leading surrounding pueblos in the celebrations of the Word, I seem to fail at carrying the weight of it all. I fall into the temptation day in and day out, believing that “I” have a lot to do. When in reality it is Jesus who has a lot to do, and he desires me to help and to take part in His mission.
But never the less this week has been one of those weeks where it seems I have not done much good. Maritza (one of the single mothers) that I have been helping fight for child support had a hearing this week and well it did not go as planned and justice was not in our favor as corruption and payments under the table have obviously won the Judge's heart. And my involvement has been now magnified and questioned by the opposing father and his lawyers, showing their deep disapproval of me and my desire to walk and guide my dear friend through the court process. Needless to say, it gave both of us a very uneasy feeling, which the devil decided to amplify and manipulate, making us both scared and worried for our safety.
On top of that it has been one of those months where there have been so many financial needs here from cancer treatments to those who have no food, along with our normal ministries and alms has really had me asking myself “Who do these people think I am?”, “What more can I give, that I do not have”
These words of discouragement came back to me as Friday and Saturday Maritza along with her children and I began the Coffee harvest. If you do not already know the coffee on the land here at Santa Maria Magdalena’s home is picked and given to Maritza to use for her children. The Harvest does not bring in much but with the proceeds, she is able to buy the extra things the children and her need.
However this season was proving to be a bit different, when we started with just us, we quickly realized that we were not going to be able to advance before the rain and before the ripened fruit fell to the ground and went to waste, so we had to hire 2 people to help us pick it all in order to get it all in on time. As we were picking, I was overwhelmed by what I was experiencing and the goodness of God. I have never seen the trees so full of coffee. We were able to bring in 3 times more coffee than the prior harvests and there is really no explanation other than it was a gift from above.
So, you can imagine when I was preparing for this weekend’s ministries, I chuckled a bit and shook my head, and said “Jesus you did it once again”. I just love it when he gives me the opportunity to live in his truth and in His Holy words, confirming the fact that I am not alone and that all I need to do is stay united and trust in him. And in return, he only asks me to give my life and all he gives me to others near me and to love like him! In short, the readings this week made me feel as if they were meant just for me, as reinsurance, as a whisper straight from Jesus's lips to my heart!
The second reading tells us our love should not be just words and talk, it must be true love, which shows itself in action towards everyone around us. (1 John 3:18).
Here is the passage in its entirety.
Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth. By this we shall know that we are of the truth and reassure our heart before him; for whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and he knows everything. Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence before God; and whatever we ask we receive from him, because we keep his commandments and do what pleases him. And this is his commandment, that we believe in the name of his Son Jesus Christ and love one another, just as he has commanded us. Whoever keeps his commandments abides in God, and God in him. And by this we know that he abides in us, by the Spirit whom he has given us. 1 John 3:18-24
The Gospel reading, I am certain most of us have heard more than a time or two, but I must say this week, I felt it really come alive.
At that time: Jesus said to his disciples, “I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you. Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in me he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned. If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples. John 15: 1-8
It is not easy to love those around us. Or to put our words in actions and deeds. To do so we must grow, and we must allow ourselves to be pruned in order to grow into the likeness of Jesus. We must have confidence and trust that when we remain united with him, when we allow him to prune us and allow him to live in our hearts that we will be able to bear much fruit. This week’s readings enhance our dependence and our need to abide and remain with Jesus if we desire to mirror his very essence to those around us.
In closing, in response to the praise I received earlier in the week. I am no one special. I am just a person who had a life-altering encounter face to-face with Jesus and ever since it has been my mission to encounter him over and over again and the only way to do this is to follow him and to stay united with him. These encounters allow my heart to overflow with his love and goodness, so much so that it flows onto those around me.
I just want to do what was commanded of me!
“I” alone cannot bear any fruit. “I” alone cannot make any difference here, “I” alone have absolutely nothing to my name other than the name of Jesus which flows from my lips. “I” alone cannot win a court case, “I” alone cannot solve the needs here, or cure cancer, “I” alone cannot even meet the needs that present themselves daily to me, “I” alone cannot make a coffee tree produce 3 times the amount of coffee than past years. But remaining in Jesus, seeking his will for me daily, accepting my many limitations, and maintaining a love for him above all the comforts, marital wealth, and status of this world allows Jesus to work miracles. After all, Jesus says “I am the vine, and you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will bear much fruit, for you can do nothing without me.” John 15:5.
The only one worth praising here is Jesus, because as Saint Paul says “it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me; and the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me”. Galatians 2:20
Caserio Santa Clara, Amazonas, Peru
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