Gabriel's shoes, He wears these for everything, alter serving, ministries, work and play!
Brothers and sisters in Christ, I am so thankful for your prayers and your authentic and genuine love for the poor, including Gabriel and I.
Recently, I have been reflecting on how we deal with disappointments we face in our lives when our plans do not align with the will of God. All this stirs around in my heart and in my mind after Gabriel and I experienced a very disappointing situation this past month.
Last month we were
excited to make the long journey to Lima, which started with a 7-hour car ride
from our mission post to the closest airport, where we took a 1.5-hour domestic
flight in order to board our international flight back to America out of Lima. For
selfish reasons, we were desiring to escape Peru and the poverty we face every
day here and to rest for just a few weeks. We had meetings planned with
benefactors and we wanted to speak English, watch TV, and eat American food all
while spending time with family and friends. We had planned on shopping for the
much-needed supplies, such as buying tennis shoes for Gabriel’s huge feet, he
is a 12.5, and well that size seems not to exist here in Peru. We had also
planned for Gabriel to attend Faith Camp, and while he was there for a week my childhood
friend and I had planned on going on a little girl's trip to celebrate our 50th
birthdays. This all sounds normal right, I mean it sounds not really over the
top, and well deserved. Even speaking with other missionaries and many other missionary
organizations they encourage visits back to one’s Passport country for periods
of rest, and for time to reconnect with loved ones and benefactors. All of this
makes very good sense, but not the reality for Gabriel and I.
You see all these plans came to an end when the Migration
official pulled us to the side and began to question all the paperwork that
gives me the authority to leave Peru with Gabriel. Despite the official and legal
documents from the USA, all of which have been translated and legalized in
Peru, along with my Peruvian permission to travel which I received from our
local Peruvian Notary and was authenticated by the Regional College of Notaries
here, all seemed not to be good enough for the immigration official. He accused
me of being a habitual lawbreaker as he saw how many times we had traveled in
and out of Peru without the proper documentation and insinuated he could place
me in jail. As the officials were working on what they were going to do with
us, I frighteningly turned to Gabriel and told him if they arrested me, that he
needed to Call Father Robert (the Priest we work under) so he could pick him up.
Praise the Lord, they did not arrest me, but they did deny
us leaving Peru. In 2018 this happened to us, because I did not know the
paperwork that I needed in order to leave Peru since it was my 1st
year here. But ever since then, the paperwork I have has been accepted and we
have returned to the States at least 3 times since becoming foreign
missionaries, so it never crossed our minds that this time would be any
different. However, that was far from the truth as It seems that Peru has
changed their laws once again and it may be impossible and not feasible for us
to return to the USA due to our unique situation until Gabriel is 18, a legal
adult here in Peru. With that said it was a disappointment because our plans did
not align with God’s will for us. It is easy for someone to get discouraged in
moments like these and question where God is in all of this. To be honest, we
knew after our 1st year in missions that making the decision to come
back to Peru could mean we would never be allowed to leave again. Or rather not
able to leave until Gabriel turned 18, so I guess some may say we had it
coming! .
But both
Gabriel and I have been reflecting on the fact that as foreign missionaries we
are to enculturate, we are to live in solidarity with the poor, to be a person
that dies to self and give until it hurts. There is often a mentality that a foreign
missionary is a jet setter that they fly to and from exotic lands and give to
the poor and when they are done or need a rest they go home and tell stories of
their experience. Similar to the idea that a missionary is a superhero, savior,
or has the ability to change the world, which is all far from the reality of foreign
mission life. The reality of life in foreign missions is that it is not just a
vacation, it is a vocation, and one must be ready to become poor as Jesus did.
Not just for a week or a month or a year, we must be ready to face the fact
that we were called to live in solidarity with the poor. And that may mean
dying in a foreign land or being forbidden to return to your home country like
in our case. We can cry about this, and no one would blame us, after all we are
only human, and foreign missions is hard. But that would be in error if that’s
what we decided to do because we mustn’t forget we are called to something much
more than just being human, we are called to sainthood!
Instead, we must have faith and lament because that is
what a Christian would do. To lament is trusting in God; it is not crying, it
is knowing that the safest place to be is in the center of His will, and not
our own. Jesus lamented in the garden and God answered his prayer, God did not remove
the cup, the suffering, but rather gave him the strength and the courage to
continue forward with the plan they made before time began. Jesus then prayed
the prayer he once taught the disciples, “Your will be done” (Matthew 6:10). He ended his prayer like those laments in the Psalms, with a response
of trust, resting in the perfect will of his Father, which turned sorrow and
disappointment, and even fear into joy.
With all this being said we ask you not to be
concerned about our situation, that we are unable to leave Peru, but rather
pray for us and pray that we will always desire to be in the center of God's
will for us. Pray that we will be even better at living in solidarity with the
poor and that we can give even more to them than we have in the past years. Pray
for the poor we came to serve so many years ago who cannot escape, who have
nowhere to rest or run to when they need a break from the realities of Peru. Please
pray that we are not forgotten and that somehow Jesus will find a way to
support the mission here at Santa Maria Magdalena’s home despite the fact we
cannot meet with benefactor’s face to face or fundraise from Stateside.
Pray that we will not regard faith as a mere
commodity, something that we have a lot or very little of, depending on our
circumstances. But rather that we will always know the importance and necessity
of maintaining the disposition of a faithful servant. That we will have the
courage to mirror Jesus and have unfailing faith and trust in God’s will for
us. We ask you to pray that this disappointment and sorrow be turned into so
much joy that others may see it and come to ask, “How can we have such peace
about being denied returning to our home country” and our response will be “Because
we are in the center of God’s will for us”, “We are with Jesus!”
Please do not cry for us as we are not crying, we are lamenting.
Pray for us, pray we can be confident that through our lamenting we will only
be made more human and in the center of God's will.
We love you all and pray that you will always remember
us and the poor we live among in your prayers. Each one of you holds a special
place in our hearts and prayers and we are so very grateful for each of you.
May we learn to Love Like Jesus!
P.S. If you can fit in your prayer time a few prayers that somehow, we can find shoes big enough for Gabriel here.
Mission Post: Santa Maria Magdalena's Home
Caserio Santa Clara, Amazonas, Peru
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